Wow! That was so beautifully written! I became a mom after dealing with infertility from endometriosis, multiple surgeries and finally a hysterectomy at age 24. Coincidentally, 20 years ago today, I brought home my first adopted child and it was the day before Mother’s Day. He was 4-1/2 months old, was a preemie and had special needs. Just over 12 years ago, after a divorce I remarried and gained a wonderful stepson that was 18 months younger than my son. Then about 10 years ago we “matched” with a birthmother and adopted our now 9-1/2-year-old son as a “healthy newborn.” Three years ago, I became a surrogate “mom” to a beautiful 21-year-old young lady who lost her own mother in a car accident when she was just 11 months old. We didn’t formally adopt her, but love her just the same. I said I’d finally gotten my girl, but God wasn’t finished with our family yet! On March 15, last year, after going thru 8 weeks of classes to do foster care, we were placed with a precious 15-month-old baby girl. It’s been quite a roller coaster ride, but we hope to soon adopt her and her 6-year-old sister who currently is in another foster home. We frequently get compliments on our “grandbaby” and love hearing how she and our other kids “look so much” like one of us! We just smile and nod! So that now makes 3 boys and 3 girls. I’ve never given birth to a child and sometimes I feel like I missed out by not having the experience of pregnancy and delivery, but I can’t imagine loving any of my children more than I already do. My wonderful husband sent me this link and I cried as I read it sitting here next to him. He often tells me that he “forgets” that the adopted ones aren’t biologically ours and loves them just the same as his biological son. Thank you so much for putting into words what so many of us have experienced and feel. I pray that God richly blesses you.
There are other ways too in which I am invisible. I often feel that the work I do around the house is the work of an invisible person. How else could my husband consistently leave his underwear tucked behind the bathroom door? His wet towel on the bed? Surely, he does not imagine me, swearing, swooping to pick up his damp, crumpled briefs with a child on one hip as I listen to a podcast and ponder going gluten free. He is not making a statement with his actions, saying, “Here, wife, pick up after me.” Instead, I think that on some level he believes that he lives in an enchanted castle where the broom comes to life and sweeps, and the teapot pours itself.
Oh cry me a river…..she continues to publicly shame the father of her child and has the nerve to talk about the lack of justice for mothers…..men have been getting kicked over by the system forever and will continue to be treated as second class citizens. Thank you judge for recognizing that men play just as big of a role as a parent than the mother. The baby is obviously in the better household. You’re in debt, you’re ethics are questionable, you’ve proven not to be a fit parent with your first born and now you’re looking like an opportunist with this interview (who your daughter will one day get to read). Chris is married (better household stability), doesn’t have financial problems and has proven he’s capable of being a good parent evident from his first born. The only reason he even took you to court is because you didn’t accept his generous offer of child support and instead dragged him to court to request an unreasonable amount. Greed.